Saturday, December 18, 2010

FROM THE DESK OF DR. AWKWARD

Just in case I’m not on any hit lists yet (like the Russian mob or maybe Nigerian mafia), here’s a little sampling of the other work I’ve been doing in my free time:

FROM DR WAHEED AKA
BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER,
BANK OF AFRICA.(BOA)
OUAGADOUGOU/BURKINA FASO.
WEST AFRICA.
("REMITTANCE OF $25.8 MILLION U.S.A DOLLARS (CONFIDENTIAL IS THE CASE")

I am Dr Waheed Aka from burkina faso. I want to seek your assistance after my discovery during auditing in my bank as am the manager of Bill and
Exchange at the Foriegn Remittance Department of BANK OF AFRICA,(B.O.A.). In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of USD$25.8million US dollars in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers who died along with his entire family in plane Crash 2003. It is therefore upon this discovery that I decided as the head of my department to make this business proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and we don't want this money to go into the Bank treasury as unclaimed bills.
You should not nurse any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the smooth transfer of this funds and your acceptance is what will crown this effort. We will conclude this operation within 21 banking days based on the amount of coperation you will contribute. The fund will be shared in the ratio of 40% will be for you as a forign partner, 60% will be for me. Thank you for your understanding as i await your urgent response to enable me give you more details don't forget to give me those informations below to enable me know you very well before we can go ahead in this business/project.
Your International passport or ID card.......
Your private telephone number................
Your profession................................
Your age.....................................
Your country..................................... Your's faithfully
Dr Waheed Aka 00226-76 36 30 68
REPLY ME THROUGH waheedaka1958@gmail.com

FROM DR. AWKWARD
AWAY IN A MANGER
BANK OF BOB (BOB)
OINGO BOINGO WAS A ONE HIT WONDER IN THE 80'S, BURGER FACE
UNTIED STATES
("WHY AM I TYPING IN ALL CAPS?") I BETTER CHANGE THAT SO YOU DON'T THINK I'M BEING SERIOUS)

Dear Dr. Weed Whacker,
I am Dr. Awkward, otherwise known as a palindrome, from the United States. Delta Burke is not a fatso!
Do not worry, palindromes are not contagious, there is a vaccine you can get for it. However, you must act with the utmost urgency and ambulance. I have not dieded, though I do like Dido, she has a good voice. I have a BOA constrictor ready for your remittance. It will strangle you so I get all of the $25 million USED DOLLARS. The BOA constrictor was de-cased from its caging and should be arriving to you in a box shortly. Your bowels will disburse upon deceasement, so I will claim all of the unmarked bills. Please do not mark the bills in any way, shape or form, otherwise I cannot claim them.
I am not nursing, although I am male, it is physically impossible. However, I do receive mail every day, except Sunday. Please inform your secretary to notify me when the BOA constrictor has done it's job and I can claim my 25 Gazillion dollars. I don't really listen to country music much, but I do like "Faithfully".
Your aging professional telephone,
Dr. Awkward

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